trembling in air...say whaat

I found out my half brothers name is Johnathan Ray Garcia, I guess i'll never meet him, it kind of sucks really bad, because I wonder if he knows he has a half sister. maybe his mother kept him oblivious of the fact he hasd a half sister. Maybe she didn't know, but she did, because my mother and her were friends. I really want to meet him, and I wish i could meet him because i'd want to know what he thought about it. Does he even know he had a half sister? I know i wouldn't want to keep that a secret from my child if he was mine and if that ever happened. I wonder if he's even alive, I know im a few months like maybe three or four? months older than him, and I know we look a like because my mom said we looked alike when we were babies. although i don't know what he looks like now, and i dont think he'd look exactly like me, but we'd have resemblance right? I mean I look like my father, and he looked like him too, so we'd have some similarities, so maybe one day i'll see some boy walking along with attributes I also have? I hope to meet him one day, i think that's my greatest wish. if i had one wish I think it'd be to meet my half brother because if i dont meet him, i'll regret it. I dont know where he lives, or even if he's alive, i dont know his mothers name, and I dont knwo his fathers name. I dont know if he was even born...well nevermind, I know my other grandma (dads mom) has pictures of him when he was a baby. So i know he was atleast born, the problem is i dont know if he'd want to meet me.


Anyways, today I was at sabrinas for quite some time, i'd say from maybe 11 am to 730pm, then she came over to make fun of laguna beach with me, and my mom came to pick me up and i came here. Sabrina and I went to walmart today and we rode tricycles, even though they have four wheels. haha! and then we laughed a lot like usual. We also talked about how when we dance infront of people it's not as detailed as it is when we dance with eachother. like our NSYNC dances aren't as fun with other people because we go all out dancing, but with other people we have to think about what they will do if we dance like usual. we get embarrased I guess. Oh well, it's still fun. BALD EAGLE. it's a new obsession, that goes along with the obsession I have over turquoise and teal.


Yesterday was friday, it was an A day, so i had fourth period with ronnie, who i happen to be dating at the moment. Sabrina wasn't at school, and it wasn't as fun as usual. I finally passed, so now i'm at mac. Not a big deal because i'm still a freshmen, and it's like "oh you're a freshmen, ew" But i guess it's alright, better than being in eigth grade. hahah! anyways, I rode the bus home with heather and luckily my stop if first, just sucks when i have to be out there earlier than other people, oh well, i like school, it's better than staying home and eating all the time. After I got home i went to ronnies at like 630, because his parents werent home and he invited me, so i was like okay. We were really tired so we went to sleep. ohh noo guurrl, you had sex!!! haha! i had to put that it was the right moment, but no of course we didnt, I'm saving my self, seeing how i dont want to get pregnant, and I dont want a baby yet. Obviously I want a kid if i talk so much about them, but it doesn't mean I want one at the moment. Elliott really wanted ronnie and I to have sex, and it's like, well it's deffenitly not goint to happen if you're like begging me to. so it didnt, and it was never going to, so you have nothing to worry about with virgin alex. I've never done anything with a guy besides make out, i mean dramatic things, as fingering and stuff, i wont go into detail, just been felt up, and that was a horrible mistake and i'd be willing to take it back if i had the chance. ANYWAYS!!


i really want the new BECK cd. and i'm still wanting the KEANE cd, i have it downloaded to my computer, but it's at my grandmas house...I want a lot of cd's actually. like THE OFFSPRING GREATEST HITS but then again i think i just want to buy all the cds so I can just listen to other songs other than the singles. A HEARTWELL ENDING i really like their music, but i wouldn't know where to get their cd. OK GO but sadly i'd have to order it...THE WALLFLOWERS their new cd sounds good, but i dont know how i'd get their cd, i dont have money...haha! oh well. oh my GOD In four/three days sabrina and I are going to the ok go concert, and i'm freaking out, too bad no one likes ok go, i'm glad though, because i would hate it they were a mainstream band like "fob" or something everyone likes and it gets so annoying, like system of a down, they're good but now everyone's like hehe soad!! haha don't you love my presentation of other people? how they ALL say hehe and soad? haha! i love it...I kind of typed myself dry, I dont know what else to say, i thin this is good enough.
alexandra nicole